I’ve been seeing lots of friends posting about World Theatre Day today, which makes it a little extra fitting that I “played hooky” from work stuff this evening to watch some friends perform in Mamma Mia.(1) It’s a show I was almost in—-for one hot second—-so I very much wanted to make sure I came out to support everybody.
I’ll admit I was a little worried that I’d have some wistful sad feelings about it all. Sorry for what I’d missed out on, desiring to be up on stage again. After the bows and the drive home, I’m glad to say that wasn’t an issue for me.
I’m still sorting out where theatre stands in my life right now. It was such a gift to return to it when we moved up here to the North Shore. I am eternally grateful for all the heart’s family that have joined my life through the last four years of being involved in shows. I am proud of all the ways I have put myself out there, being onstage, working backstage, doing new pieces, performing Shakespeare…
I just pulled up my acting resume: if I’m counting right, I’ve been involved in 20 different productions since I started up again in January 2015. All while maintaining a meaningful career, including a promotion or two to take on extra responsibilities.
That’s a lot. And I’m proud of it. And, if I’m being really truly honest, I was feeling pretty worn out by the end of 2018. There’s a few different reasons I decided to take a theater hiatus to prioritize different areas of growth.(2) But looking back, I’m realizing that being so very, very tired out was more of a factor than I realized in the moment.
Cos as of right now? I’ve been quite surprised at how much I’m not missing being in shows. Maybe I’ll start missing it at some future date, but not yet.
It’s been good for me: having the time to write, having some space to process my diagnosis and dip my toe into yoga again. These are different flavors of gifts for my life today. And I’m grateful for them.
Besides, I still get all the fun of seeing so many people I love singing, dancing, making art, creating characters and emotions and bringing me on a journey with them. That’s a flavor of gift, too.
(1) I know: it’s not really playing hooky, since I am ostensibly allowed to do social things in my out-of-work hours. On deadline weeks, though? The guilt is real.
(2) More on that in another post.