I saw one of my college classmates post this on Facebook earlier today:
Rainy days and pandemics always get me down.
Which, funny enough* was something I’d been thinking to myself even earlier in my morning.
Chalk it up to another generational marker. Karen Carpenter and her brother, Richard:
The theme of the day has been “it’s okay if you’re not okay.”
It’s not like anything has gone badly in my little corner of the universe. Mr. Mezzo and I are still healthy, el doggo is still cuddly, we have jobs and a house and groceries. So there’s absolutely no external reason for me to be struggling today.
I’ll chalk it up to the metaphor of getting out of the wrong side of the bed this morning. Yeah, I can say some of it that rainy day sense of the blues that I (and so many other humans) am prone to.**
But I’m assuming a big piece of it was just me having a day when living in the COVID times just felt a little bit heavier.
And, obviously, it wasn’t just me. There’s my college classmate reading my mind to make a wan Carpenters joke above the fold. And the other friends who have been posting and amplifying this helpful article from Self.
I’m watching everybody else and how they’re dealing with all of this right now, utterly mystified as to how in the hell they’re doing it. […] The ingenuity and strength—where are they getting it? Why can’t I find mine? (Am I pessimistic? Are they naive?) Shouldn’t I too be finding silver linings and ways to thrive, to make the most of the situation, to rise to the occasion, instead of just getting by?
Except then I remember something: That the “occasion” is a global pandemic. That to just get by is actually enough right now. And to be not doing okay is normal and natural and not a problem.
As I posted earlier, my job is still going full-tilt. And even though I’d be lying if I said I haven’t had any moments of being distracted or troubled by these surreal and challenging times, I have, for the most part, been keeping my ish together during my on-duty hours.
But it takes some energy to make that happen, and my internal energy tank is not infinite. So I’m mostly chalking today’s blue mood up to the effect of accumulated (and still accumulating) stress.
And that’s okay. In all honesty, I’m surprised I haven’t had more of a dip in my mood before now.
So I decided it was okay if I wasn’t feeling entirely okay today. Basically, I gave myself a break and took it a little bit easy throughout my “lazy Sunday.”
Not a bad way to recharge my batteries before tomorrow’s work week.
* In that “ironic funny” rather than “ha ha funny” way.
** After all, The Carpenters did a whole song on it, didn’t they?
*** I am so far behind, I am still watching episodes from November 2019. Oops!