Remember 2 weeks ago when I was predicting I’d be all quiet and non-bloggy on account of Dad’s New England memorial and whatever next step of grieving that might kick off? And then how I got all kinds of talkative?
Now I think I’m in that spot of sadness.
I don’t really know why — well, I “know why” in the big picture, of course. I just don’t quite know why the feelings are so much stronger during these past couple days.
But they are. That’s all there is to it.
So if I’m disengaged from commenting or posting or other email/internet communication, please bear with me. I’ll resurface when I can.
I randomly saw your link from Shapely Prose.
My dad died at the very end of last year. Sometimes, when I think I should be a wreck because of whatever reason, I am absolutely fine – amd not emotional-shut-down fine, either. Actually, genuinely fine.
Other times, like this week, I am a WRECK. For no apparent reason at all. I’m trying to learn to just go with it, but it’s hard. I hate feeling out of control and I hate being ambushed by my emotions. But really, I’m just going to have to get used to it, I guess.
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People so often think of grieving as a linear process, but it isn’t. It zig-zags. It takes unpredictable turns. It goes away for a few days, then comes back in the middle of nothing in particular and sucker punches you in the gut.
Take the time you need. Follow the process where it happens to go. It’s okay. What’s more, you’ll be okay.
Been there, done that, bought out the damn tee shirt store…but I’m still standing. You will, too.
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Do you think it’s possible that your feelings are surfacing after the action’s over? Sometimes the feelings don’t arise until the company has left, and probably forgotten about our loss, and we’re left alone with it.
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